I had another session of
diversity training today. There have been a series of all-day workshops this fall, and it was announced with much fanfare this fall that it was mandatory that all employees attend one. Of course, the Faculty Senate got its shorts in a bunch and declared that no one had a right to add mandatory training without consulting appropriate governance structures, specifically the Faculty Senate. So it may or may not have been mandatory. In any case, I went. I have no strong objection to diversity training, other than it usually turns out to be a lot of finger pointing and guilt-wallowing, with a minimal amount of contructive suggestions for improvement.
This one started out OK. They talked about goals, specifically to increase the number of faculty and students of color. They talked about their own backgrounds and qualifications. They talked about some of the issues that have come up on campus, about historical problems of racism, and yes, they talked about the fact that it was mandatory (unless it isn't) and they recognized that we may not be the most willing participants in the world.
And then they let Professor Martyr talk.
I don't like Professor Martyr. I never have. He was part of a panel on diversity during my orientation to my university, and I didn't like him then. Just recently,
Dean Dad gave me the proper language to describe him: he's a "victim bully." He uses his status as a minority to club people. If you don't agree with him -- hell, if you aren't 100% behind his particular grievances -- then you are part of the racist structure that keeps him and his people down. He's very much an "us vs. them" kind of guy, and you can't be sort of "us".
An example. During the discussion of why we might not want to be there, one of the Economists spoke up and said that, in his view, it didn't pass a cost/benefit analysis. The possibilty that he, personally, would help attract more students or faculty of color seemed sufficiently remote so as not to balance the cost in time spent away from his current students and his responsibility to them. This seemed like a reasonable position, but Professor Martyr took several opportunities to mock it. He didn't come right out and say it, of course, but he managed to imply that this position was right next door to putting out a sign that said, "No minorities need apply."
Professor Martyr talked for a long time. He made a big point of making sure that we knew that he knew that we weren't up to his standards. Why didn't we attend the seminars that he had arranged? Why didn't we attend activities put on by minority students? Why didn't we want to be there? If it hadn't been mandatory, most of us wouldn't be there, and doesn't that speak volumes about our commitment to diversity on this campus? Didn't we appreciate the opportunity to come here and be berated by him?
Just before I lost it, he was talking about an argument that he hears about the difficulty in hiring minorities. People suggest that it would be easier if we offered more money. The fact is that all the time we have candidates --minorities and non-- who seem like a good fit, but who end up taking another job at a higher salary. So, Professor Martyr said, what does that say about me and the other minorities that are currently here on campus? That we had to settle for this job, because we couldn't get anything better?
He caught me shaking my head at that and singled me out, and I suggested, ungently, that not everything in the whole wide world was meant as a personal affront to him. I used the word "asshole." I am not proud of this. This is not normal behavior for me. But I did.
I did apologize, publicly, after the break. He didn't seem very upset, although I know full well that I'm on his shit list, and I always will be.
I've been trying to decide why I was so upset. Often I can let B.S. like this roll off my back. "There goes Professor Martyr again." But not today. At least not right at that moment.
Part of it is his grating personality. As I say, I took an instant dislike to him six plus years ago, and have never seen any reason to change my mind. Part of it is, I suspect, a guilty suspicion that he's right about me. It's certainly true that I benefit from white privilege. I take for granted things that Professor Martyr has had to fight hard for. Maybe I haven't done enough to help erase racism and sexism and other types of discrimination. The burden shouldn't be on the minority, but on the majority.
That's the galling thing. I agree with this guy. On lots of stuff. I know that racism is still pervasive in our society. Indeed, it's a fundamental part of our society, and if that's changing at all, it's because of people like Professor Martyr who won't let people forget it. I just know that there are lots of people who manage to make that point in a more inclusive way. Indeed, all the other presenters managed to make me feel like I have an opportunity to be part of something good. Professor Martyr just made me feel like I'm already part of something bad.
