Now what?

I intimated to Mrs. J that I may be beginning to realize that the marathon is not my distance. The half, I can run. I have to be prepared, and reasonably rested, but if I am, I can run all out, have a good day, and the next morning, I can still walk.

On the other hand, I feel like I have unfinished business. I should be able to run a whole marathon. I should be able to run faster than 4:50. There's really no reason why I didn't do it yesterday. I had done my training. I had done my taper. The weather was absolutely beautiful. So I should have done it.

I know that I psyched myself out. I was getting tired at 18 miles, and instead of running one more mile at a time, I looked ahead at 8 more miles and I fell apart.

I'm also carrying too much weight. I have been as low as 190 pounds, but right now I'm sitting at 220. Losing those 30 pounds would sure make running the marathon a lot easier.

So, for now, I'm just going to take it easy. I'm definitely not running another marathon before spring. For the next few months, I'll just try to get back in touch with the joy of running. Maybe work on my speed a little. Try to lose some weight. And then I'll start thinking about what's next.